Sunday, February 15, 2009

It's Been A While..

Wow, it's been a while since my last blog.

Well, lately I've been thinking about my lack of self-confidence. Lack of self-confidence has always been a huge issue for me, but lately I'm just seeing it more than ever. I feel as though I'm always overshadowed by other people. They'll be all jolly and out there while I'll just be standing there. And inside I say, "But how on EARTH can they manage to act like that when it's such an issue for me?" I wish I could just be like that. When someone passes a really silly comment like, "Ajma loosen up", they don't realise how hard it actually is for some people. So guys, before passing comments that put down people's spirits, can you just think before? You think I WANT to lack self-confidence? It's just how I am. I know I'm gonna have to change eventually but it's gonna take time. I wish I had even an ounce of self-confidence, but I don't. Everytime I try to come out of my shell, I stop and think, "What if people don't like this side of me?" so I just go back to my usual self.
That's another thing about me. I really have to stop worrying about what people think of me. It's something I worry about way too much. I dunno, I just hope that I'll get over these things; but I'm making progress slowly.

I don't even know what I just said makes any sense cos it's just so hard to put what I feel into words..

On another note, I'm totally happy that mocks are over on Wednesday! 2 more and I'm free! =D Free for another 2 weeks that is. Cos I have to start studying all over again for O levels. I seriously can't wait for these few months to be over. 3 weeks of mocks KILLED me, so I wonder how O's are gonna be.

At the moment I'm in LOVE with Jack's Mannequin. (It's a band for those of you who don't know =P) It's basically the solo project of this guy, Andrew McMahon. His story really touched me. He was diagnosed with leukemia a few years ago. He fought till the very end and was cured :) Everytime I think of giving up on something, I think about this guy and how much he struggled and didn't give up, and it helps me to keep on fighting. Some of his lyrics are inspired by the period when he was sick and they're just wow. I can really relate to his music. So guys, download songs nooooow! xD I swear, they're AMAZING!

Anyway, I'll leave you with 2 of their songs :)



2 comments:

Chrissy said...

finallyyy! =P
you already know what i think xD
but like... it's a process. ur not just gna wake up one day and love yourself. it takes time.
and yeah having self confidence starts with learning to love urself =]

and looove jack's mannequin xD

much love =]
xxxx

Anonymous said...

I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much
about what I think of what I do. That is character!

Theodore Roosevelt

Hope this helps laaraaa...
best of luck
gian