Heyy guys!
I know I haven't blogged in ages but I haven't had much to say. Summer's been ok.. The beginning of summer was much better though imo. Plus I haven't been out since last Monday cos of stupid results and bus strike -_- So right now summer's quite boring..
So earlier I was doing some serious thinking. Whenever I'm around people I can never be totally myself. I always hide a part of me. I'm always scared of what others will think. And it REALLY sucks. I really want to be myself but like.. I don't know how or something =S I know that cos of this I'm not living life to the full. I feel as though my life is heading the other way, and not the way I want it to. I'm not who I want to be..
Another thing.. I wish I was more confident cos I'm a really shy person. Arghhh being shy is really getting to me. How many times do I miss out on stuff just cos I'm shy? Answer: A LOT! I really need help in becoming more confident =/ Hopefully Soul Survivor will help.. And maybe I'll find people who I can be myself with?
Speaking about Soul Survivor.. Just 22 days left!!!!! =D I can'tttt wait!
I'm being a really big loner lately =S I'm not telling people how I really feel. Including God =/ I really don't know what's gotten over me. I want to open up but for some reason I can't. I feel Him telling me to drop everything and talk to Him but for some reason I'm ignoring it.. I know that I'm not trying my best.. I really seriously have no idea what's wrong with me. I want to find out why I'm acting like this but I can't =S
*realises what a depressing blog this is turning out to be*
I've just had loads on my mind.. I need answers from a lot of people. And till I get those answers I'm gonna keep thinking about the situations and wondering, which kills me. Even if those answers are gonna hurt me, I'll be much happier knowing the truth. It's the only way that I'll move on. Sure, I'll be let down, but we have God no? =) It won't be the end of the world.
If there's anyone out there who thinks of giving up on something or someone, DON'T! Easier said that done, I know. Happens to me all the time.. But when I think about something that happened (or didn't happen) cos I gave up, I promise myself that it won't happen again. You'll end up looking back and regretting it. So for those of you thinking of giving up, just to let you know that you're not alone and it's something that I'm going through right now.. So if anyone ever needs to talk.. =)
On a different note.. I'm really happy cos my books should be arriving any day now =D I haven't read a book in ageess and it's good that I finally have the time to start reading again xD
A song that really got me thinking:
Gbu guys
xxxx
